LOL

Jordan Bradt:

SARCASM ALERT

I had the pleasure of watching the movie LOL, starring Demi Moore and Miley Cyrus.  I knew it was going to be awesome when it started in slow motion, and Miley’s voiceover announced that was because she and her friends are so cool.  That was further proven through the whole movie as they suffer no character development, just stay at the same level of supreme coolness.  Her name in the movie, Lola a.k.a. Lolz (can anyone say Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen Lola?), is just too mind-blowing to keep thinking about it, so I’m going to refer to her as Miley.

 

LOL is just…wonderful. It doesn’t even need a plot. Literally. There was no plot, but that was okay, because of all the awesomeness. There’s, like, this girl at Miley’s high school who is called the Post-It.  I mean, how could any nickname ever get any better than that?  Miley gets to go to Paris for a school trip via her French class.  She has his boyfriend, Chad, but he cheated, so she dumped him, but now he thinks she’s a whore.  There’s this other guy, Kyle.  They were both so incredibly hot that I had trouble telling who was who while watching the movie.  Then there’s this third guy who had this one really deep scene with Miley in her bedroom. Random Guy seemed interesting; I would’ve liked to see at least one more scene involving him.  The product placement was phenomenal.  The Pandora jewelry box – what teenage girls doesn’t want that?  The box of Trojan condoms – what teenage boy doesn’t bring the whole box to a party?

Oh, and Miley’s family is just incredible.  Her mom, younger sister, and her all bathe together, and discuss things while naked in the tub such as porn stars and Brazilian waxes.  Her grandmother gets drunk and lets Miley host a wild party.  Miley’s mom, Demi Moore, finds Miley’s journal, where whole new plot-lines are introduced, such as smoking pot and “loving” her female friends, but are never elaborated.  The best part of all is when Miley and Demi have sex (with different men in different countries) and the move keeps flashing back and forth between them. Who doesn’t want to see that?

Speaking of who doesn’t want to see things…who really wants to see this movie? Seriously?